Broken Focus

Two months may be long enough to be considered permanent, but when you come to the end game it is just a long time to be away from home. As an athlete there is much to be said for doing everything you can “right.” In addition to training on the bike your focus must also extend to include core strengthening, flexibility, diet and proper sleep. It feels as if your whole life demands focus and discipline. I have done very well for my stay in Tucson religiously dedicating my time like some kind of pedal worshiping pagan. Only now with my remaining time in Tucson shortly numbered do I find my focus to falter.

It begins with fatigue. Heavy exhaustion drags everything down and you just want to slump. This is aggravating when you have no furniture to slump into. Then the cloths don’t quite get folded or put away properly. Things exist in either a clean pile or a dirty pile. You begin to seek the path of least resistance. Some things will get “put off until later” such as a core workout, cleaning your bike, or stretching.

Then the diet begins to go. Not that I am trying to lose weight. Rather I try to control the quality of what I eat. Well you begin to seek food prep with as few steps as possible. The result of which is a combination of cereal, pasta, cookies, trail mix chocolate,, granola bars and so on. This has been building to an apex last night though I did not realize until today that I needed a slap to the face.

Last night we went out to see a movie. We often need something to do to refresh. The problem is, I couldn’t help myself. I went straight to the snack bar for XL popcorn and drink combo. I thought nothing of it. The movie was awesome, popcorn delicious. When we got home I couldn’t sleep, probably the pop. So I sat up late and ate a half box of cookies. WTF that ain’t right. It seems the slope is slippery because at the bottom is a big bag of buttered popcorn.

Now when I was riding today it seems I could not even focus on the task at hand. With the return home in 4 days time my mind was wandering scatter of thoughts. Already I am thinking of packing and driving and getting home to see friends and family. As my thoughts drifted my legs slowed and I realized that I need a slap to the face. Two months is enough in this town, my focus is being tested. I gave myself a mental shake today. My mind rings with advice in an accelerated and gruff matter of fact voice. “Focus! Live like a monk. Do everything right.” I was doing so well but I strayed from the path, it’s time to bring it back.


“Focus! Live like a monk. Do everything right.”


Cuylar Conly